« I'm just not that into "Valentines Day" »

Rating:

He’s Just Not That Into You was a decent hit for Warner Bros. last year. It was about boys & girls, had about 10 actors in it, and was made up of a bunch of small interconnected stories. It was Love Actually without the “actually.” Naturally, Warner Bros. wanted another February hit. Their idea: make the same movie again, just bigger. Valentines Day has twice as many stars (about 20), bigger names, and interweaving storylines that are more complex. It’s all in an effort to teach us something about Valentines Day. What that something is, well, I don’t think even the writers know. 

The most fun you’ll have watching Valentines Day is counting all the different stories and figuring out how they’re all connected. It’s a pretty fun game, really. I wish there was a winner. Unfortunately, these characters and their stories are just pieces on a chess board; a full chess board where love always wins. It’s fun to point them out and look at them, but most are forgettable. The only actors who come out better than they entered are Ashton Kutcher and Topher Grace. These guys haven’t been in many films lately and they use their screen time better than most, Kutcher especially.

Valentines Day is perfectly watchable and definitely covers its chosen holiday extensively. It’s fun to watch a bunch of interconnected story arcs come together. Unfortunately, it has nothing to say and no real laughs. I have no reason to ever watch it again. None of these characters have unique stories, nor are they themselves particularly worth watching. Perhaps that is why this film is packed with a cast of more than 20. Warner Bros. is hoping that if they keep changing the subject and showing us a new pretty face or cool trick, we won’t notice that Valentines Day spends two hours to say less than a Hallmark card.

Click here to read my a longer version of this review. I discuss the merits of Taylor Lautner, more about the stories, and why movies should never let kids act.